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Seniors Guide published an advice column by R. Eric Thomas responding to a 75-year-old man who says his 45-year marriage has become codependent amid his wife’s long-running mental-health struggles. Thomas urges him to plan carefully, seek a therapist experienced with codependent couples and avoid making the decision alone; the column does not report a separation or a final decision.
Seniors Guide published an advice column by R. Eric Thomas on October 26, 2026, responding to a 75-year-old reader who says he is considering leaving his wife after 45 years of marriage. The reader describes her long-running mental-health difficulties, his own distress and fears about starting over; Thomas recommends thinking through a practical plan and seeking support, rather than treating leaving as a decision made by one person alone.
The reader, writing under the name “Self-imprisoned,” says his wife has received various forms of treatment for about 30 years for what he describes as treatment-resistant depression and/or bipolar disorder. He says mental-health professionals and close friends have told him that the marriage is harming his mental health and have advised him to leave. These are the reader’s descriptions of his circumstances, not independently verified findings in the column.
He says he has stayed because of a vow, concern that his wife depends on him and fear that she would be devastated by a separation. He writes that he feels compassion but no love or respect, and says counselors have described the couple as codependent. He also cites his age and lack of family support as reasons he is afraid to leave, adding that he has friends but no relatives to fall back on.
Thomas acknowledges the strain on both spouses but does not tell the reader simply to leave or stay. He asks whether the people advising separation have helped him work out practical questions, including where he would go and what he would do. He suggests the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and working with a marriage and family therapist experienced in codependent couples.
Planning Beyond the Marriage Decision
The exchange addresses a difficult distinction for older couples: recognizing that a relationship is causing harm does not by itself resolve the practical and emotional consequences of ending it. The reader describes caregiving, dependence and isolation as part of his hesitation, while Thomas’s response focuses on making a plan for both spouses rather than reducing the situation to a yes-or-no choice.
That emphasis matters because the reader’s concerns include where he might live and what support would be available if he left. The column does not establish that separation is the right outcome for this couple. Instead, it points to counseling and practical planning as ways to examine possible arrangements with support, including the wife’s needs and the husband’s wellbeing.
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A Reader’s Account of 45 Years
The item appears in Seniors Guide’s advice content and is presented as a letter from a reader followed by Thomas’s response. The letter says the couple has been married for 45 years and that the wife has been in treatment of various kinds for 30 years. It gives no account from the wife, and the column does not provide clinical records or details about the treatments.
Thomas is identified by Seniors Guide as a national bestselling author, playwright and screenwriter who has written advice columns, including serving as interim Prudie for Dear Prudence. The publication lists ways to send him questions. The source material presents this as an advice response, not a report of a legal filing, separation, medical assessment or change in the couple’s living arrangements.
““I would like to have a healthy relationship before I die.””
— The reader, identified as “Self-imprisoned”
No Decision or Separation Reported
The column does not say whether the reader has decided to leave, whether the couple has begun counseling together or separately, or whether they have discussed a different living arrangement. It also does not provide the wife’s perspective, her current care plan or details about the professional advice the reader says he has received.
The descriptions of depression, possible bipolar disorder and codependency come from the reader’s account. The source offers no independent assessment of either spouse, and the advice is not a report that separation has occurred or a clinical recommendation for this particular couple.
Support and Practical Planning
Thomas’s response points the reader toward two possible next steps: reading Beattie’s Codependent No More and working with a marriage and family therapist who has experience with codependent couples. He also urges him to think through the practicalities of a possible change, including housing, daily responsibilities and support for both spouses.
No follow-up from the reader is included, so there is no confirmed next appointment, decision or timeline. The column leaves the outcome open and advises that whatever arrangement the couple considers should not be handled without support.
Key Questions
What is the advice column about?
It features a letter from a 75-year-old man who is considering leaving his wife after 45 years of marriage. He describes her long-running mental-health struggles, his own distress and fear about leaving. R. Eric Thomas responds with advice about planning and seeking support.
Did the reader say he had left his wife?
No. The letter says he is hesitant and afraid to leave. The column does not report a separation or say that he has made a final decision.
What did Eric Thomas recommend?
Thomas asks the reader to consider practical questions such as where he would go and what he would do. He suggests Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and working with a marriage and family therapist experienced with codependent couples.
Are the wife’s diagnoses independently confirmed in the column?
No. The letter describes her as having treatment-resistant depression and/or bipolar disorder, but the source provides no independent medical assessment or further clinical detail.
Source: seniorsguide.com
