TL;DR
Turn quiet afternoons into listening time
- Thousands of audiobooks, podcasts and originals
- Listen on your phone, tablet or Echo — also offline
- Cancel anytime
In an October 7, 2026, first-person essay for Being Patient, artist and writer Robert G. Fishman recounts how his mother’s dementia changed their relationship and how painting helped him respond differently. He says he now tries to meet her where she is rather than correct her or press her to remember.
Artist and writer Robert G. Fishman has described how his mother’s dementia reshaped their relationship and inspired a series of paintings, in a first-person essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026. Fishman says making the work helped him accept that her memories were fading without treating her as though she had disappeared, and led him to stop correcting her and instead enter her world during visits.
Fishman writes that he spoke with his mother daily after she was widowed in 1999. She moved into independent living at about 91, and he initially understood changes in her behavior as normal aging. By 94, she was having trouble using her phones. A visit in late 2023 made the situation harder to ignore: he found her apartment in poor condition, the refrigerator empty, and her cat still central to her life. A neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia, Fishman says, but his mother rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing.
Because their regular calls still sounded familiar, Fishman says, he had not grasped the extent of the changes. He also writes that his mother had feared developing Alzheimer’s, after her own mother was diagnosed at 73 and died seven years later. His mother refused local assisted living, telling the family, “Over my dead body.” They persuaded her to move closer to them in Maryland, addressing some practical needs but not Fishman’s emotional struggle with the changes.
Fishman describes trying to make his mother remember, correcting her and sometimes becoming angry when she could not do things she had once done. After returning to painting, he began creating landscapes and then removing details from successive versions. He later understood the process as a way to picture memory loss. Four paintings became the series he calls “The Art of Forgetting.” His mother now lives in a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home, he writes.
Changing How He Meets His Mother
Fishman’s account focuses on a challenge that can accompany dementia in families: the person’s abilities and memories may change while the relationship continues. He presents his paintings not as a medical intervention, but as a personal way to make sense of loss and reconsider his own reactions. The practical shift he describes is in how he spends time with his mother: less correction, more attention to what remains.
That distinction matters because Fishman says attempts to pull his mother back into his understanding of the past brought frustration and guilt. His essay does not claim that art changes the course of dementia. Instead, it records how a creative practice helped him acknowledge what he could not control and focus on connection in the present. For readers supporting a family member with dementia, the piece offers one caregiver’s experience, not a universal account or clinical guidance.
Products Worth Considering
Dyson V8 Cyclone Cordless Vacuum
Dyson V8 Cordless Vacuum
Sonos Era 100 SL Compact, Microphone-Free Speaker – Black
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
From Daily Calls to Memory Care
Fishman, a retired college professor and nonprofit executive, identifies himself as a visual artist and author. He says his mother lived alone in Florida after being widowed a second time at 71. At around 91, she moved to an independent living facility because she no longer wanted to cook or clean. The family’s move to bring her to Maryland followed the changes Fishman noticed and his mother’s refusal to enter assisted living locally.
The painting series developed alongside that family experience. Fishman writes that he began with recognizable landscapes, then painted them again while removing details and simplifying forms. The remaining shapes, colors and rhythms helped him think about how a person could lose memories without becoming wholly absent. His essay links that artistic process to a change in how he visits his mother, now in memory care.
““Over my dead body.””
— Robert G. Fishman, writing in Being Patient
What the Essay Does Not Establish
The account is a personal essay, not a clinical report. It does not provide details about the neurologist’s evaluation, the specific type of dementia, or the course of the diagnosis beyond Fishman’s description of it as early stage. It also does not say whether his mother later received further testing or how her condition has changed since moving into memory care.
Fishman describes how painting affected his own perspective, but the essay does not assess whether art or his approach would have similar effects for other families. His mother’s current thoughts and experience are not presented directly; the account is told from his point of view.
His Visits Continue in Memory Care
Fishman writes that he now visits his mother at a memory care unit near his home and tries to join her in the moment rather than correct her or demand that she remember. The essay does not announce a new project, treatment, or planned change in her care. The next developments in her health and the family’s caregiving arrangements are not specified.
Key Questions
What did Robert G. Fishman publish?
He published a first-person essay in Being Patient on October 7, 2026, about his mother’s dementia, his paintings and changes in how he relates to her.
What is “The Art of Forgetting”?
It is the name Fishman gives to a group of four paintings that grew out of his Deconstructed Landscapes series. He says the work helped him picture memory loss and understand his mother’s experience.
What does Fishman say changed in his visits?
He says he stopped trying to correct his mother or make her remember and began trying to enter her world during visits.
Where is Fishman’s mother now?
According to his essay, she lives in a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home.
Does the essay make a medical claim about art and dementia?
No. Fishman describes painting as a personal way to cope and change his perspective. The essay does not claim that art treats or alters dementia.
Source: rss
