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Sixty and Me published a personal essay recommending that readers rethink “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The writer presents the list as personal advice about language and relationships, not as a research finding or formal guidance.
Sixty and Me published a personal essay advising readers to rethink six common words and phrases—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—which the writer says can reinforce discouragement or undermine communication. The article offers personal examples and suggested alternatives; it does not present the recommendations as findings from a study.
The writer frames the piece around the idea that habitual language can shape how people approach decisions and relationships. She describes a past workshop on limiting beliefs, where participants identified beliefs about themselves and wrote affirmations in response. She also recounts speaking regularly with a coaching-class partner for seven years to share those statements and encourage each other.
For “I’ll try,” the essay draws on the writer’s son, Joel, who has Down syndrome. She says he lost 35 pounds over six months after the family began taking daily walks and had fewer soft drinks and fast-food options at home during the pandemic. When he says he will try to maintain healthy habits, she encourages him to say “I will” instead. These are the writer’s account of her family’s experience, not medical guidance or evidence that the same changes will have the same effect for others.
The other examples focus on wording. The writer says “can’t” can obscure a choice, “always” and “never” can make criticism sound absolute, and “if only” can keep attention on an unrealized alternative. She describes “but” as a verbal eraser because it can seem to cancel what came before it. Her alternatives include naming what did not happen, replacing “if only” with “since this is here,” and using “and” rather than “but” to hold two thoughts together.
How Everyday Phrases Shape Conversations
The essay is relevant as practical advice for readers thinking about self-talk and everyday communication. Words such as “always” and “never” can turn a specific complaint into a sweeping accusation, while “I’ll try” may leave a commitment vague. The writer’s proposed substitutions invite readers to describe what happened more precisely and to state their intentions directly.
Those suggestions are best understood as the author’s perspective, not universal rules. Context matters: “can’t” may accurately describe a real limit, and “but” is a normal part of speech. The article’s broader point is to notice when familiar expressions are unhelpful, rather than to treat any single word as inherently harmful.
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The Essay’s Personal Approach
The source is a first-person article from Sixty and Me, a publication whose report is framed as advice about living with intention. It opens with a story about the writer’s friend, whose fiancé removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance. The couple, the writer says, remain married more than 40 years later.
The essay also discusses swear words, but its central list contains six additional words or phrases. It does not cite language research, interview independent experts or report a new policy or study. The article should therefore be read as personal reflection and suggested practice, not as a formal news finding about the effects of particular words.
““You’ll either do it or not.””
— The essay’s author, describing advice to her son
What the Essay Does Not Establish
The source provides no research evidence showing that avoiding these words reliably changes behavior, improves relationships or produces better health outcomes. It also does not assess how the advice applies across different circumstances, including cases where a person faces genuine limits or needs to explain a specific obstacle.
The account of Joel’s weight loss is the author’s personal report. The essay does not give independent verification, medical details or evidence that language changes caused the outcome. Readers should not interpret that anecdote as a general health recommendation.
Applying the Suggestions Carefully
The essay does not announce a follow-up study, program or other next step. Its practical invitation is for readers to notice expressions they use automatically and consider whether a more precise phrase would better convey what they mean. For example, someone might replace “I can’t take a walk” with a truthful explanation of what prevented it that day, or replace an absolute complaint with a specific description.
Whether the suggested wording helps will depend on the situation and the speaker. The article’s central proposal is to make language more deliberate, while recognizing that these are recommendations from one writer, not rules readers must follow.
Key Questions
Which six words or phrases does the essay recommend rethinking?
It names “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The writer argues that these expressions can sometimes encourage hesitation, absolute thinking or unhelpful communication.
Does the article say these words should never be used?
No. It is a personal essay offering advice, not a binding rule. The writer’s point is to notice when habitual wording is getting in the way and consider a more precise alternative.
Does the essay cite research supporting its advice?
The supplied article does not cite studies or independent experts to establish that avoiding the listed words leads to specific outcomes. Its examples and conclusions are the author’s personal reflections.
What alternatives does the writer suggest?
Examples include saying “I will” instead of “I’ll try,” describing what did not happen rather than saying “I can’t,” and using “and” instead of “but” when both parts of a statement matter.
Source: sixtyandme.com
